New

I could not post on Saturday. It was a super busy day, as my SIL was getting engaged on Sunday. Parents were here, relatives were here and we were shuttling between the guest house and home. On the top of that, I somehow had this feeling that Kavya’s clothes are ready and I just need to iron them. Friday night when we came back, Kavya was already asleep in the car, and I got down to iron her clothes. I bought her a lehnga for Diwali, and since the top was fitting her well, I decided to go with it. Though I was not very happy with the dress, but my mind was against buying yet another dress for her, which I knew would only be more once or max twice. While ironing it, it hit me that she had another brand new lehnga top, which was gifted to her a couple of months back. So I took that also out, and started comparing the two. While doing so I also picked up the iron and resumed ironing. Not realizing how hot it was, it put it straight on the lehnga, making 2-3 holes in the cloth!! The child is very fond of dressing up. She loves wearing good clothes, wearing bangles and admiring herself in the mirror. I thought for a moment, that may be she is destined to wear something better and new, because deep down even I was not very happy with the Diwali dress which I was planning to make her wear.
Since the function was at 12 noon the next day, I had no option but to fix it. I dug out two tassels from one of my old blouse and tried to fix them to cover the burnt part and save the dress. My mum arrived after sometime, and I gave her the responsibility of fixing the dress….:) (You can rely only on mum at time of such crises!)
Next day morning the first thing she did was to fix it. So while it was looking pretty ok, and the mend was not visible, still both of us had the view, that the dress was not good enough for the occasion. Since the other lehnga she had was a bit dull, and had no matching dupatta, I was left with no option but to rush to market and get her a new dress.
Since the mall opened only at 11 am, I rushed to the parlor to get ready, and from there took a cab to the mall at around 11 30 am. I almost ran inside the mall to reach the shop and in flat 10 minutes, had picked the dress for her. This was definitely one of my fastest purchases..:) Being Sunday morning it helped, there was hardly any crowd. I dashed out of the mall after paying and in next 15 minutes I was home. Kavya was delighted to see the new dress, though she still wanted to wear the lehnga..:) So we had a new dress for her and for her dad, for the new beginnings of my SIL.
This is her wearing the dress:

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She would not let go of her Duppatta even for a second. Although she was finding it difficult to manage it, but she still carried it throughout the function and was trying her best to adjust it properly…:)
Btw- the iron seems to have some real issue. Next day morning it burnt my mother’s saaree as well!!
I will be doing another post today with ‘O’, to remain on track in the marathon.

K- The Name

Even before I had Kavya, I always kind of knew that it would be a girl. Call it my sixth sense or a strong gut feeling, but I was more or less sure that my first child would be a girl. I had thought that I would name her Radhika. I am very fond of this name. Husband however, thought otherwise and never approved of this name. Moreover, one of his cousin’s daughter is also named Radhika, so he wanted to go with some other name.  My second choice was Radha. I love this name. Husband obviously did not, he felt it was too outdated and sounded old. Towards the end of my pregnancy, we discussed a lot of girls’ names. We discussed boys’ names also, but somehow the inclination was always towards girls’ names. We could never agree on one name. I even tried to fight it out with husband, that since I have carried the baby for 9 months, I should have sole right to name her in case we are unable to agree on one, but he did not budge. There was another name- Anasuya which I liked, but he disagreed. Priyamvada was another name which I really love, but he found it too old. Whatever options he suggested, were not appealing to me. So time passed and eventually we stopped discussing the name thing.

After the birth, the name topic again popped up. We had planned her naming ceremony 10 days after her birth. So we had effectively 10 days to decide on a name. I think it was my mother, she suggested the name Kalyani. (Her birth letter was K, and my in-laws insisted that we name her with that only) Husband instantly liked it. I think I also agreed thinking that I better name my child myself, else, the number of options pouring in from the extended family were scaring me. Kritika, Kiana, Kiara…etc. etc. No offence, but I somehow am not very fond of these new age names. I still like the traditional meaningful names, which most people on my husband’s side of the family disapprove of. I saw another family trait here. While my parents were OK with whatever name we selected, the same was not true with husband’s family. They had their opinion on every option we came up with. Anyway, since both of us had agreed only to this one name till now, we decided to call her Kalyani for the time being.

Most people did not like this name. So much so that, some were quite evident is showing their dislike. I was kind of surprised.  How can show your displeasure at someone else’s child’s name. I can understand it coming from close family and friends. But husband’s boss, random people we barely knew. “ye kaisa naam hai”…”Kitna puraana hai..” kept coming from people for a long time.

Anyway, I was kind of ok and had shut this topic out of my mind until, I was required to get her birth certificate made. Husband said, we can still get it changed later on. So I deferred that decision, and went ahead and got the BC made with Kalyani. Then came the PPF account. She was not even one year. The PPF application was submitted with the same name. Then one day, I realized that I myself am not very fond of this name. The first birthday was approaching. My FIL had been suggesting the name Kavya for quite some time now. So one day, after mentally giving up on having a name of my choice for her, I suggested to husband, let’s name her Kavya. That’s the only good option with K I can think of right now. Moreover, I believe that a name grows on you. After a certain point, name hardly has any significance. A person may be names Rakesh or Raj, Suresh or Sam, it’s who you are matters, not the name. Shakespeare has correctly said- What’s there in name? This logic has been able to convince me very well when I choose to by logic. At other times, when I go by what the heart says- I again start feeling, o man, Radha was such a good name…:)

Anyway, so just before her first birthday, we decided, that since in the 21 months period of having K around (inside me and outside), we have not been able to zero in on a name, it’s high time we go by what’s the next possible option available. And therefore, Kavya was chosen as the name for my daughter. This was a typical case of, if you do not take your decisions in your own hands, someone else will make them for you.

I am not sure how happy Kavya would be read this post when she grows up. But then, I am sure she would definitely love what Shakespeare said…:)

And btw, if and when I decide to have a second child, I have already told husband in so many words- the name I get to decide. I have already it decided actually…:)

Doctor

While planning for the posts for the marathon, I had decided to keep my current obsession HOUSE MD, for letter H. However, today when thinking about what to write with D, I thought that why not make it Dr House, and do the House post today itself. I am so desperate to write about House. But then, better sense prevailed, and I decided to do a post on Doctors today, and keep House for H…:)

Around the time Kavya reached the age 1, she had already developed a fear of doctors. Her ped was Dr T J Anthony, who is a really nice man in his early 50s. Quite suited to be a ped, he is very lively and fun with kids. However, Kavya had become so scared of her vaccinations that she refused to even enter the doctor’s chamber. Taking her for her vaccination was like a war for us. So even if we did not tell her that we were going to see a doctor, the moment we parked our car outside the hospital/ mall where the clinic is, she would immediately identify the place and start crying. Nahi jaana, nahi jaana…followed by loud wails. This continued for a long long time. So much so that, I had to tell her multiple times at home, that this is not a vaccination and doctor would just check you. Or I would buy chocolates/ pastries for her immediately after reaching the clinic, but nothing worked.

I remember, once I took her to Fortis hospital for a throat infection. Since she would not open her mouth, the doc pressed her tongue with an ice-cream stick. She thought it was a pen. After coming back from the hospital, for days altogether, she kept saying- “doctal ne mu mein pen daal diya…” in a sobbing tone, she was not even 1.5 years then.

Once in the escalator, while going to see her doctor, we met the doctor in the escalator. Kavya had seen him like 2-3 months back, she immediately recognized him and started crying. The doc was surprised!!

I did go to other doctors too sometimes, but her fear did not vain. The once, due to timing issues, I had to see Dr Anthony’s wife, who is also a paediatrician. Kavya was relatively relaxed that day. May be because she thought of her as someone else, or may be because even before anything started, she gave her a chocolate. She was pretty happy that day. The fear grew so much that she would not come with us even if we had to go see a doctor for us. Then I had to explain her, that you can just chill outside, mumma has to go in. I think that kind of raised her confidence, that she is not alone in this. Even mumma/ papa need to see doctor sometimes.

In the past few months, due to timing issues, I started visiting Dr Anthony’s wife Dr Anjali, more often. Last year Kavya also fell sick more often. So towards the end of 2015, we were doing too many doctor visits. She kind of got used to it. Slowly I saw a change in her attitude. Last year in September she caught Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. Ulcers in her mouth, but since it was a milder infection in her case, she did not have any ulcers in hands and feet. However, the mouth ulcers were quite bad, and we had a very tough time. She was on a custard diest for 2-3 days, and lost a lot of strength. Her ped was out of town and we had to see another doctor in Fortis- Dr Pinkoo Atawar. During the same time, Kavya learnt this new thing of asking me to narrate her any event that had happened during the day, at her sleep time. So she would ask me to tell, Pinkoo Atawar vaali baat batao. And I would narrate her the complete series of events on how we took her to the hospital, our turn came, doctor examined her….till we came back home. (Now it is like, she wants me to narrate all her encounters with doctors in the recent past during sleep time. So its, Pinkoo Atawar vaali, Doctal Anjali vaali..jab mujhe ulti aa gayi thi, Dr Debes Agalawal vaali, Dr D K Dibali vaali (Dr D K Tiwari), which is the most recent one)

In the past month or so, I have realized that her fear for doctors has come down considerably. May be this is because of the age factor, and after so many visits she now knows what to expect. She is clear now, that she likes Dr Anjali a lot. Sometimes she tells me, “main bimaal hu, mujhe Doctal Anjali ke paas le jao!!” (This is to get chocolates mainly). Whenever we cross Fortis hospital, she does not miss to mention Dr Anjali. She even went to the extent of saying that “Doctal Debes Agalwal achche nai hain, vo toffee nai dete!” She knows her antibiotics. She knows that for cough I am supposed to give her Maxtra. So she sometimes coughs and says, mummy mujhe khansi aa agayi- Makstala de do.

One day I had ulcers in my mouth, and I was discussing with husband that I need to take Bicasule. She heard my side of conversation and said- “Aapke mu mein chaale ho gaye hain..bicasool kha lo, ac ke upal lakhi hai”..:D

Also, she now has reached a stage where if I assure her that doctor will only check you with a stethoscope and not give any injections, she understands it, and patiently lets the doc examine. She even opens her mouth without the doc having to insert any stick. She has developed a kind of trust on her doc. However, with a new doc its still not that easy- but if its Anjali we are pretty much sorted. Thanks to the chocolates and Dr Anjali’s nice behaviour…:)

Sometimes she goes overboard, and says- mujhe yahan pe voond (wound) ho gaya hai (referring to some tiny pink rash on her skin)- mujhe doctal ke paas le jao. Or she itches and says- mujhe khujali vale doctal ke paas le jaao…:D

But all in all, it’s such a relief to not have a screaming game every time we visit a doctor. I will definitely show her this post, when she grows up.

Day 23- Mommy Guilt

..is when you shout at your almost 2 years old, because she is not sleeping after being in the “put me to sleep” mode for around an hour and a half! Both K and I are not well, and its so difficult to handle an unwell child when you yourself are  not well. She is cranky for no rhyme or reason and I am running high fever and bad cold, and therefore am at my impatient best. I must have shouted at her more than a couple of times today. And the very next moment I feel so guilty, its not her fault, but the situation is so helpless, I have zero patience to tolerate her tantrums. I asked the cook to prepare soup for her, we spread a mat on the bed and I was trying to feed her, when she kicked the bowls and all the soup spilled! Phew! I was so annoyed. The she took almost 2 hours to go to sleep. With her in my laps, she kept demanding songs of her choice for those two hours, I get so tired singing with a bad throat, and my legs had started aching…Man raising kids is just no fun on such days. Infact it is no fun at all. This weather has made life very difficult here. We cannot even step out of our room, where the heater is on 24X7. Rest of the house is freezing! This is the worst winters I have seen here in India in my entire life. It was never so bad earlier. There is no sun altogether for days. I just hope and pray that this painful weather gives way to some good sunny days so that we can at least step out start feeling normal again.

Husband is also tired taking care of a sick wife and child. I am afraid that he does fall sick now. We can not afford that. See you guys tomorrow now, hopefully with better health.