New

I could not post on Saturday. It was a super busy day, as my SIL was getting engaged on Sunday. Parents were here, relatives were here and we were shuttling between the guest house and home. On the top of that, I somehow had this feeling that Kavya’s clothes are ready and I just need to iron them. Friday night when we came back, Kavya was already asleep in the car, and I got down to iron her clothes. I bought her a lehnga for Diwali, and since the top was fitting her well, I decided to go with it. Though I was not very happy with the dress, but my mind was against buying yet another dress for her, which I knew would only be more once or max twice. While ironing it, it hit me that she had another brand new lehnga top, which was gifted to her a couple of months back. So I took that also out, and started comparing the two. While doing so I also picked up the iron and resumed ironing. Not realizing how hot it was, it put it straight on the lehnga, making 2-3 holes in the cloth!! The child is very fond of dressing up. She loves wearing good clothes, wearing bangles and admiring herself in the mirror. I thought for a moment, that may be she is destined to wear something better and new, because deep down even I was not very happy with the Diwali dress which I was planning to make her wear.
Since the function was at 12 noon the next day, I had no option but to fix it. I dug out two tassels from one of my old blouse and tried to fix them to cover the burnt part and save the dress. My mum arrived after sometime, and I gave her the responsibility of fixing the dress….:) (You can rely only on mum at time of such crises!)
Next day morning the first thing she did was to fix it. So while it was looking pretty ok, and the mend was not visible, still both of us had the view, that the dress was not good enough for the occasion. Since the other lehnga she had was a bit dull, and had no matching dupatta, I was left with no option but to rush to market and get her a new dress.
Since the mall opened only at 11 am, I rushed to the parlor to get ready, and from there took a cab to the mall at around 11 30 am. I almost ran inside the mall to reach the shop and in flat 10 minutes, had picked the dress for her. This was definitely one of my fastest purchases..:) Being Sunday morning it helped, there was hardly any crowd. I dashed out of the mall after paying and in next 15 minutes I was home. Kavya was delighted to see the new dress, though she still wanted to wear the lehnga..:) So we had a new dress for her and for her dad, for the new beginnings of my SIL.
This is her wearing the dress:

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She would not let go of her Duppatta even for a second. Although she was finding it difficult to manage it, but she still carried it throughout the function and was trying her best to adjust it properly…:)
Btw- the iron seems to have some real issue. Next day morning it burnt my mother’s saaree as well!!
I will be doing another post today with ‘O’, to remain on track in the marathon.

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Lollipop

I have chosen this topic so that I can document some of Kavya’s recent antics here. Till now I have always refrained from giving toffees or chocolates to Kavya. Once in a while was ok, but I never encouraged her to have any. When she turned around 2, we also made a story around how a monkey eats too many chocolates and ends up at a dentist. Since she is generally a good kid, she never demanded too many of them. However, her recent visit to her Nanaji’s place changed things a bit. As part of the regular pampering she got to eat toffees, and that caught her fancy. Now, she demands toffees almost every day. And how she eats them, she keeps the toffee in her hand and keeps licking it till it becomes too tiny. Then also, she has to be forced to put the remains in her mouth and finish. So day before yesterday, she was throwing some tantrum at my in-laws place, and they immediately gave her a toffee. When she asked for more, we said that we will get you more from the market- later on. Kavya, generally understands logic. She very innocently repeated “Jab dadaji maaket jayenge, tab laayenge aul toffee”. My MIL was totally touched, and decided that the kid needs to be given more toffees. (That was actually a very cute statement by Kavya. It is generally easy to make her understand things, which I am scared may also sometimes work against her). This was a reward for her innocence.

Also, since she had seen Kavya eating the toffee the way she did, she had a brainwave. She called my FIL, who was in market to get her some lollipops. Logic being that, it has a stick, and it will prevent her from messing her hands. I tried to stop her, but she gave the usual, “bachche hi to hain, ab nahi khayenge to kab khayenge” argument. So in some time Kavya had a lollipop in her hands. To say that she was thrilled would be an understatement. She had never seen a lollipop before, so she was delighted to have a toffee with a stick. She devoured it for around 30 minutes. The whole time she was just concentrating on licking it and nothing else. Just roaming around the room, eating it, and periodically showing it to me.

She called it lollipok in the beginning..:D. The child thoroughly enjoyed her first lollipop experience. I am sure she is going to ask for more in the coming days, but since she already understands cause and effect to a certain extent now, it should not be very difficult for us to keep her away from too many sweets.

This also reminds me of one more incident which happened around a month back. I took her to market, and she demanded a toffee. I generally buy gems for her, as she is very fond of them. So I gave her a packet of gems. She immediately started eating them. On our way back, we crossed a paanwaala. He had some toffee jars on his counter. Kavya looked at them and said “ Mumma, vo dekho toffee. Toffee khane se to daant khalaab ho jaate hain. Gems se to nahi hote..hai na..” with a big grin. It was such a lovely moment. Both my maid and I started laughing. She said it so innocently and cutely…J Kids are super cute at times.

Turning 3 has been a period of growth spurt for Kavya. She has suddenly grown up in the past one month. Her speech is clearer and her reasoning has improved considerably. She can make logical sentences in English too. She explains herself almost perfectly, and sometimes it feels as if I am talking to an adult. She is still saying cute things, but I can see my child growing. She has a mind of her own, and is clear on what she wants. Like the other day she came back from school, and I asked her to change her clothes. She said no. When I asked why, she replied “Kyunki mujhe kapde change karna achcha nahi lagta, mujhe khelna achcha lagta hai”!

Today she was telling husband- after pee pee- “Papa, maine appko bata diya ki mujhe susu aayi hai. Ab main bali ho gayi. Pehle main jab choti thin a, to pajama mein hi kal deti thi..”..:)

She generally talks to me in English. And I am amazed at the rate at which she has picked up the language. We are mainly Hindi speaking people at home, but at school she only gets to hear English. She has picked up very well, and I give all the credit for this to her teachers. Today she said, “Mumma, take out my clips (from her hair), then I will become a boy”, I said no baby, you will still be a girl. She said firmly.” No boys don’t put clips, so I will be a boy”…:)

Whenever she wants to do something- she says-“Shall we do this?” “Mumma, Shall we go to the park”..”Shall I climb on your head..”…:) In hindi it becomes- “kya main ye khaa loon”…” kya main ye gira doon..”…:)

Another favorite of her these days is – asking questions. She asks so many questions, that sometimes it becomes funny. And she has to know everything. Whatever is happening around her, she has to be aware. If the bell rings, she invariably has to go and check at the door. If the maid says something- like she is not well etc, Kavya verifies with me- “Mumma, Manooshi aunty ko kya hua?” On the road, she keeps asking me, “ye kiska ghar hai”, when I say- 1 uncle ka, next question “Unka naam kya hai”- so I read the name plate and reply..:D Sometimes, I make up names, it is so funny. She knows all the major landmarks from her school to home by heart now. “Mumma, hum..xyz chowk aa gaye”…”Mumma, vo dekho Fortis hospital”..”Vo dekho Max Hospital” She has a special fondness for hospitals. The other day she was trying to understand a U turn. We have to take a U turn to each home, she just did not get why I tell the autowallah every time to take a U turn. She would say ..”Mumma, kahan hai U? Ye to T hai”, referring to a big T on a billboard..:)

For the first time in these 3 years I felt her growing so fast. She is moving from being a cute toddler to a school going girl now…:) I hope to write more posts on Kavya in the marathon. It’s a great opportunity to chronicle her most fun years here.

 

K- The Name

Even before I had Kavya, I always kind of knew that it would be a girl. Call it my sixth sense or a strong gut feeling, but I was more or less sure that my first child would be a girl. I had thought that I would name her Radhika. I am very fond of this name. Husband however, thought otherwise and never approved of this name. Moreover, one of his cousin’s daughter is also named Radhika, so he wanted to go with some other name.  My second choice was Radha. I love this name. Husband obviously did not, he felt it was too outdated and sounded old. Towards the end of my pregnancy, we discussed a lot of girls’ names. We discussed boys’ names also, but somehow the inclination was always towards girls’ names. We could never agree on one name. I even tried to fight it out with husband, that since I have carried the baby for 9 months, I should have sole right to name her in case we are unable to agree on one, but he did not budge. There was another name- Anasuya which I liked, but he disagreed. Priyamvada was another name which I really love, but he found it too old. Whatever options he suggested, were not appealing to me. So time passed and eventually we stopped discussing the name thing.

After the birth, the name topic again popped up. We had planned her naming ceremony 10 days after her birth. So we had effectively 10 days to decide on a name. I think it was my mother, she suggested the name Kalyani. (Her birth letter was K, and my in-laws insisted that we name her with that only) Husband instantly liked it. I think I also agreed thinking that I better name my child myself, else, the number of options pouring in from the extended family were scaring me. Kritika, Kiana, Kiara…etc. etc. No offence, but I somehow am not very fond of these new age names. I still like the traditional meaningful names, which most people on my husband’s side of the family disapprove of. I saw another family trait here. While my parents were OK with whatever name we selected, the same was not true with husband’s family. They had their opinion on every option we came up with. Anyway, since both of us had agreed only to this one name till now, we decided to call her Kalyani for the time being.

Most people did not like this name. So much so that, some were quite evident is showing their dislike. I was kind of surprised.  How can show your displeasure at someone else’s child’s name. I can understand it coming from close family and friends. But husband’s boss, random people we barely knew. “ye kaisa naam hai”…”Kitna puraana hai..” kept coming from people for a long time.

Anyway, I was kind of ok and had shut this topic out of my mind until, I was required to get her birth certificate made. Husband said, we can still get it changed later on. So I deferred that decision, and went ahead and got the BC made with Kalyani. Then came the PPF account. She was not even one year. The PPF application was submitted with the same name. Then one day, I realized that I myself am not very fond of this name. The first birthday was approaching. My FIL had been suggesting the name Kavya for quite some time now. So one day, after mentally giving up on having a name of my choice for her, I suggested to husband, let’s name her Kavya. That’s the only good option with K I can think of right now. Moreover, I believe that a name grows on you. After a certain point, name hardly has any significance. A person may be names Rakesh or Raj, Suresh or Sam, it’s who you are matters, not the name. Shakespeare has correctly said- What’s there in name? This logic has been able to convince me very well when I choose to by logic. At other times, when I go by what the heart says- I again start feeling, o man, Radha was such a good name…:)

Anyway, so just before her first birthday, we decided, that since in the 21 months period of having K around (inside me and outside), we have not been able to zero in on a name, it’s high time we go by what’s the next possible option available. And therefore, Kavya was chosen as the name for my daughter. This was a typical case of, if you do not take your decisions in your own hands, someone else will make them for you.

I am not sure how happy Kavya would be read this post when she grows up. But then, I am sure she would definitely love what Shakespeare said…:)

And btw, if and when I decide to have a second child, I have already told husband in so many words- the name I get to decide. I have already it decided actually…:)

Doctor

While planning for the posts for the marathon, I had decided to keep my current obsession HOUSE MD, for letter H. However, today when thinking about what to write with D, I thought that why not make it Dr House, and do the House post today itself. I am so desperate to write about House. But then, better sense prevailed, and I decided to do a post on Doctors today, and keep House for H…:)

Around the time Kavya reached the age 1, she had already developed a fear of doctors. Her ped was Dr T J Anthony, who is a really nice man in his early 50s. Quite suited to be a ped, he is very lively and fun with kids. However, Kavya had become so scared of her vaccinations that she refused to even enter the doctor’s chamber. Taking her for her vaccination was like a war for us. So even if we did not tell her that we were going to see a doctor, the moment we parked our car outside the hospital/ mall where the clinic is, she would immediately identify the place and start crying. Nahi jaana, nahi jaana…followed by loud wails. This continued for a long long time. So much so that, I had to tell her multiple times at home, that this is not a vaccination and doctor would just check you. Or I would buy chocolates/ pastries for her immediately after reaching the clinic, but nothing worked.

I remember, once I took her to Fortis hospital for a throat infection. Since she would not open her mouth, the doc pressed her tongue with an ice-cream stick. She thought it was a pen. After coming back from the hospital, for days altogether, she kept saying- “doctal ne mu mein pen daal diya…” in a sobbing tone, she was not even 1.5 years then.

Once in the escalator, while going to see her doctor, we met the doctor in the escalator. Kavya had seen him like 2-3 months back, she immediately recognized him and started crying. The doc was surprised!!

I did go to other doctors too sometimes, but her fear did not vain. The once, due to timing issues, I had to see Dr Anthony’s wife, who is also a paediatrician. Kavya was relatively relaxed that day. May be because she thought of her as someone else, or may be because even before anything started, she gave her a chocolate. She was pretty happy that day. The fear grew so much that she would not come with us even if we had to go see a doctor for us. Then I had to explain her, that you can just chill outside, mumma has to go in. I think that kind of raised her confidence, that she is not alone in this. Even mumma/ papa need to see doctor sometimes.

In the past few months, due to timing issues, I started visiting Dr Anthony’s wife Dr Anjali, more often. Last year Kavya also fell sick more often. So towards the end of 2015, we were doing too many doctor visits. She kind of got used to it. Slowly I saw a change in her attitude. Last year in September she caught Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. Ulcers in her mouth, but since it was a milder infection in her case, she did not have any ulcers in hands and feet. However, the mouth ulcers were quite bad, and we had a very tough time. She was on a custard diest for 2-3 days, and lost a lot of strength. Her ped was out of town and we had to see another doctor in Fortis- Dr Pinkoo Atawar. During the same time, Kavya learnt this new thing of asking me to narrate her any event that had happened during the day, at her sleep time. So she would ask me to tell, Pinkoo Atawar vaali baat batao. And I would narrate her the complete series of events on how we took her to the hospital, our turn came, doctor examined her….till we came back home. (Now it is like, she wants me to narrate all her encounters with doctors in the recent past during sleep time. So its, Pinkoo Atawar vaali, Doctal Anjali vaali..jab mujhe ulti aa gayi thi, Dr Debes Agalawal vaali, Dr D K Dibali vaali (Dr D K Tiwari), which is the most recent one)

In the past month or so, I have realized that her fear for doctors has come down considerably. May be this is because of the age factor, and after so many visits she now knows what to expect. She is clear now, that she likes Dr Anjali a lot. Sometimes she tells me, “main bimaal hu, mujhe Doctal Anjali ke paas le jao!!” (This is to get chocolates mainly). Whenever we cross Fortis hospital, she does not miss to mention Dr Anjali. She even went to the extent of saying that “Doctal Debes Agalwal achche nai hain, vo toffee nai dete!” She knows her antibiotics. She knows that for cough I am supposed to give her Maxtra. So she sometimes coughs and says, mummy mujhe khansi aa agayi- Makstala de do.

One day I had ulcers in my mouth, and I was discussing with husband that I need to take Bicasule. She heard my side of conversation and said- “Aapke mu mein chaale ho gaye hain..bicasool kha lo, ac ke upal lakhi hai”..:D

Also, she now has reached a stage where if I assure her that doctor will only check you with a stethoscope and not give any injections, she understands it, and patiently lets the doc examine. She even opens her mouth without the doc having to insert any stick. She has developed a kind of trust on her doc. However, with a new doc its still not that easy- but if its Anjali we are pretty much sorted. Thanks to the chocolates and Dr Anjali’s nice behaviour…:)

Sometimes she goes overboard, and says- mujhe yahan pe voond (wound) ho gaya hai (referring to some tiny pink rash on her skin)- mujhe doctal ke paas le jao. Or she itches and says- mujhe khujali vale doctal ke paas le jaao…:D

But all in all, it’s such a relief to not have a screaming game every time we visit a doctor. I will definitely show her this post, when she grows up.

Birthday

We celebrated Kavya’s birthday at my parents’ place this time. We stay in an independent house in Gurgaon. Her 2nd birthday last year was quite a boring affair for the kid as all kids we knew were either older to her or too young than her; and everyone had come with their parents. So it was more of a gathering for parents than kids. Also, I made a wrong choice of cake- a photo cake with Chota Bheem, and it turned out so dull that I decided never to order a photo cake ever in my life.

This year Kavya’s spring break started from 19th March. I was planning to celebrate her birthday in Gurgaon and then leave for my parents’ place the next day. However, when I started making the guest list, I realized that the scene would almost be similar to last year’s. She still does not have many kids her age in the colony (the ones that are there, I hardly know them), and the other option of calling all her school friends was beyond budget (for reasons I will elaborate some other time).

So I had this brainwave, of celebrating the third birthday at my parents place. Husband also found it ok, and we came to my hometown on the 19th to celebrate the birthday here on 20th. This colony has around 25 kids who may not be same age as Kavya but are in that good age group- where they make birthday parties fun. I had seen their gathering at the Navratri Kanya Poojan in the past, and was sure that Kavya would enjoy having so many kids for her birthday.

We celebrated her simple yet fun birthday party here, with a not so good looking but nevertheless tasty Tweety cake, and some basic snacks. The kids were a riot, as they came laden with birthday presents that reminded me of my own childhood, when a tiffin box/ pencil box were the favorite gifts to carry…J

Kavya had lots of fun getting all the attention. Husband played some games with the kids, and then we proceeded to cake cutting followed by snacks. Kavya very confidently blew the candle and also cut the cake without any help from me. She looked quite delighted. She was heard telling other kids- “Aaj tumhara Birthday nahi hai..mera birthday hai!!”

However, I was not aware that snacks here mean, that kids await their return gifts and then rush back home!! So after snack time, they started demanding their return gifts which were small goody bags. The moment I distributed those, the bachcha party disappeared!! I was amazed..:D  I literally had to run behind some to make them pose for a group photo…J

Anyway, overall it turned out a fun birthday party for Kavya.

She had asked for a Mickey Mouse cake for her birthday celebrations at school. Actually I had pestered her for months asking which two cakes she would want for her birthday. I gave her a couple of options, and she chose Tweety and a Fairy cake. Since she does not watch any cartoons, she is not acquainted with any characters in particular. I guess she liked these two names and decided. However, just before her birthday there was another birthday in school and she saw a Minnie Mouse cake. So the fairy cake was replaced by a Minnie Mouse cake. I played smart and instead of going for a full-fledged cake in shape of Minnie Mouse, I ordered a simple gems chocolate cake with a Minnie figurine on top..:) She enjoyed the cake and later the toy!

This year I plan to buy a cycle for her. I bought a tricycle for her when she was not even 2. But she hardly rode it. Even now I am not sure if she would be interested in riding one. In the park she tries to explore other children’s cycles, but if she would show any interest in her own cycle is not very clear to me. Anyway, I think I will still buy one for her…J

Also, this post is not complete without a mention of her lovely yellow frock which I bought from Faye.in. I discovered this site before her first birthday, and this was the third time in a row that I got her birthday dress from here. They have a lovely collection, prices slightly on the higher side, but amazing stuff.

Here is the picture in which I could manage to have less than half of the total junta:

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Day 16- Managing without a Maid- 2

So I left the last post here. Yes, managing without a maid is difficult without a help, but I have realized that it is not that bad also. Yes work is more, and very very tiring too most of the times,  but the good thing is that the satisfaction of being able to look after most of the things one your own is also great! I mean, while I do need someone to keep K engaged while I work, having a 12 hours help for that is more than required, and when you have someone at your disposal all the time to help you out with stuff, people like me become a bit lazy, dependent and basically outsource everything. I realized, that the maid around all the time, I was practically spending very little time with K. She would always be busy playing with her didi, did would feed her, bathe her and do all her chores. I was involved mainly in giving directions, and putting her to sleep. Deep inside I did not like it much, but I did not have the courage to throw the maid out on my own, as I was worried what if the pressure increases at work front, how will I manage. But now that she has left on her own, I am learning to manage also. Good part is that in-laws are also local, so I can take their help when needed. I am taking each day as it comes. I have no plans on the maid front right now. I will manage on my own till the time I can. If it becomes too difficult to handle, I will again keep someone, for fewer hours though. In-laws stay in Gurgaon is dependent on SIL’s marriage, so I cannot count on them forever.

As of now, I am just finding ways to make things more organized at home. Husband has also started contributing more and that is a great help. Fact is that now that there is no choice, even he does not crib much. Good part is that K’s is slowly learning to engage herself for small durations. Like, today she played with her colors for around 30-40 minutes, without asking mumma to join in. Touch wood, this is very encouraging. Hopefully, things will be better once she is settled in play school and startes spending more time there.

By the way, on play school also, I have some thoughts going in my mind. Will download them here tomorrow..:)

Tomorrow we have to attend K’s cousin’s first birthday party! So I need to get down to some preparation for that. See you all tomorrow!

Day 15- A late post

I could not post yesterday. It was a very busy day and by the time K went to sleep, I was dead tired to do anything. However, I will write two posts today to be back on the track.

As I mentioned earlier, few days ago my mother was here. She had come only for a day to get her health check up done. Since her phone was not working properly, she was using my phone to make any calls, or to send wassap messages to my sister who had just delivered a baby. Now, K uses my phone a lot to listen to the rhymes on the Nursery Rhymes application. Its just a set of rhymes with a picture each, so I am kind of ok giving her my phone for that (not happy though, but that distraction helps sometimes). When she saw that phone was in my mom’s hands most of the time, she got a bit afraid, as she considers it her property! So when mum was sending some message using my phone, she came to me said in a complaining tone..”phone naani…”. Then the clever girl picked up husband’s kindle, and went to mom saying..”Naani…papa ka kitaab lelo…”..:D She thought if naani has to take something, be it papa’s book, that way at least she will get the phone back! I was very surprised. This was the first time she had shown so much reasoning. Till now her thinking and communication seemed linear. But she could come up with something with applied logic, was a totally new thing!

Also, she has now started making stories. As in she can say sentences based on her imagination, not only the ones we say, but she comes up with stuff on her own. Its very funny  most of the times.

Another major thing that has happened in the past few days is, K has now somewhat learnt to wear her payjama. Yes, she was trying for past couple of days, and yesterday she wore her payjama on her own!..:) These firsts are so encouraging and feel good!