I wanted to make this post a Faux Post. Like faux chiffon, faux georgette. A faux post, where I just excuse myself from doing a proper post. Too tired. But then I decided against it. I want to do this blogging challenge as seriously as possible. So here is my post for today with F- FRIENDS
One of the major by-products of being grown up is that I am left with hardly any friends. I had a lot of friends till I got married. Around the same time many or rather most of my friends got married. Everyone got busy settling in their new lives, and so did I. Then work took its toll, and I was in touch with very few of them. In 2011, a year after I moved to Gurgaon, my BFF relocated to the US, permanently. We were friends since 2004, and though we would meet rarely, we were constantly connected over phone. Both of us knew that this movement of her would end our almost daily conversations. Time zone difference is a difficult thing to manage. However, we still stayed connected- though the call frequency became like once a month or once in two months and sometimes even more. However, since best friends are best friends, the connection is still the same, and we can just call up each other and start with our story right from where we left. I still feel that we are very connected and that is a good feeling.
Other than that, almost all of my other girlfriends got busy with their lives. Only one is here in Gurgaon now, and we meet up like once every six months. I had a lot of guy friends too. I was in touch with them till I had Kavya. Post that I got busy, and I realized they also got busy with kids and work and family, and now I realize that I am hardly connected to any of them. We do speak over phone on birthdays etc., but it is definitely nothing close to how it was. With one of them I still connect frequently, mostly over chat as he is in the US. He is also the laziest of us all, so when in India, it is almost impossible to meet him.
Why am I writing this post today? Off late I have realized that among other things in my life I miss having friends at this stage of life. The past few years just whizzed past and I was too busy with my kid to miss anything. But now that Kavya is also growing up, I miss having any friends around to hang out with or to do a heart to heart conversation once in a while. I miss having people with whom I could go out for a movie or a coffee or just chill on a weekend. Husband is there, but you need an outlet from the monotony of domestic life. We have some family friends, some of husband’s friends who are now my friends too. But the friendship with their wives is not “hangout” worthy. The last friend I made was in 2008, on an official trip to Mumbai where I met R, and we immediately clicked. She stays in NCR- but around 50 kms away. Has a 2 years old and a full time job, and a joint family. So meetings with her are also not more than annual. I think our requirements from relationships also change with time. Like, the other friend who is in Gurgaon, was my batch mate in college. We would speak to each other for hours about anything and everything under the sun. She was always the less chatty one, and also with a very low entertainment quotient. However, the friendship survived because we connected on a different level. Today, I do not see that connection. May be we grow in different directions owing to our priorities in life.
The other day I was talking to husband, and we discussed, how I am totally friend-less. Even he has few friends, but he managed to make good friends with people in his office. So he has a couple of people to hang out with whom not only does he connect well at work level, but they are well meaning people who have become close friends. I on the other hand failed to meet likeminded people at work post R, and now I miss having a friends circle. It is not that I do not meet new people, but among many other things which suck as we grow, forming new bonds is also one, and is quite up there. I interact with Kavya’s playgroup moms, through a wassap group of course, have also met a couple of them, but no luck.
I am not sure if this front of my life will sort itself up in the near future. I am not sure how to end this post. Just say-All the best to me!